Rosie’s #BookReview Team #RBRT Inner City #Thriller Breaking Bones by Robert White @robwhite247

Today’s team review is from Terry, she blogs here http://terrytylerbookreviews.blogspot.co.uk/

#RBRT Review Team

Terry has been reading Breaking Bones by Robert White

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3 stars

Robert White is a talented writer, and what I liked most about this book is its authenticity.  It is always clear when a writer truly knows the world and characters he has created; this is no chronicle of inner city crime attempted by a middle class scribe from the suburbs relying on research to produce a lucrative piece of gangster-lit.  The plot is interesting and the novel well structured; White understands the building of suspense and how to keep the reader turning the pages; the pace is perfect, the dialogue realistic, and the characters are all three-dimensional.  I was impressed that he can write convincing women, too.

So why only three stars?  Sadly, Mr White has been let down by his publisher.  The book does not appear to have been either edited or proofread with any kind of professionalism, experience, knowledge or care.  There are numerous punctuation errors on every single page (missing vocative commas is the most common error) as well as typos, spelling mistakes (‘hand-full’ instead of ‘handful’, for instance), and missed words.  Sometimes, the lack of punctuation actually changes the meaning of a sentence:

“He was just asking Eddie,” chipped in Tony.  

…which reads as though a third person was just asking Eddie something; in fact, Tony is telling Eddie that the person was ‘just asking’.  Thus, the correct version:

“He was just asking, Eddie,” chipped in Tony.  

As far as the editing is concerned, there are many instances of exposition, ‘telling not showing’, and unnecessary or perhaps slightly amateur sentences.  For instance: ‘Frankie was the epitome of the Italian gangster caricature.  He hunched his narrow shoulders, tucked in his elbows, palms up.  “Like, y’know…Blondie…Boomtown.”.

Any editor worth their salt would have removed the first sentence; it is ‘telling not showing’ and superfluous, as Robert White has depicted Frankie’s gesture perfectly, without it.  Never mind the lack of spaces before and after the ellipses; they probably should have been commas or full stops, anyway.

In short, the lack of work on this novel turned the reading of it into something of a chore, rather than the enjoyable experience it should (and would) have been, otherwise.  A shame, indeed.

Book description

The streets of Preston are alive with music and banter.

But nothing can drown out the sound of breaking bones.

Inseparable since childhood and feared by their community, Tony, Eddie and Frankie are beyond the reach of justice.

The brutal gang, The Three Dogs, are a law unto themselves.

Detective Jim Hacker has watched The Dogs grow from thuggish youths to psychotic criminals. He seems to be the only one who wants to see their empire fall.

Meanwhile Jamie Strange, a young Royal Marine, finds himself embroiled in the lives of The Three Dogs when his girlfriend, Laurie Holland, cuts off their engagement… to be with the most dangerous of The Dogs: Frankie Verdi.

Jamie vows to save Laurie, before Frankie damns them both.

Every dog will have its day.

This gritty, addictive crime story, fizzes with the energy of the eighties.

About the author

Robert White is an Amazon best selling crime fiction author.
His novels regularly appear in the top ten downloads in the Crime and Action and Adventure genres.
Robert is an ex cop, who captures the brutality of northern British streets in his work. He combines believable characters, slick plots and vivid dialogue to immerse the reader in his fast paced story-lines.
He was born in Leeds, England, the illegitimate son of a jazz musician and a factory girl.
He hated school, leaving at age sixteen.
After joining Lancashire Constabulary in 1980, he served for fifteen years, his specialism being Tactical Firearms.
Robert then spent four years in the Middle East before returning to the UK in 2000.
He now lives in Lancashire with his wife Nicola, and his two terrible terriers Flash and Tia.

Robert White

Goodreads | AmazonUK | AmazonUS | Twitter

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5 thoughts on “Rosie’s #BookReview Team #RBRT Inner City #Thriller Breaking Bones by Robert White @robwhite247

    • I don’t think this one had been worked on at all, Judith. Or if it had, it wasn’t by anyone who has more than a basic grasp of grammar, and certainly not by a professional.

      What some naive writers don’t realise is that the word ‘publisher’ is not a magic wand, not these days, when anyone can set themselves up as one! It’s why people like Alison and me keep making the point that you’re often better off self-publishing and choosing your own team.

      Like

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