The Twelve Days of Christmas –
by ‘Her Indoors’, Rosie Amber & Terry Tyler
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me ~
Two turtle doves…
“Well, thanks a bunch for that one, would you pass the Nurofen? Headache? Yes, I have got a headache, thank you very much. I haven’t had a minute’s peace from their cooing. Coo, coo, coo, all day long, I can’t hear meself think! Cute? Well, yeah. For about five minutes. But ‘cute’ don’t cut the mustard when you’re clearing up bird sh*t, and you could have asked the geezer in the pet shop if he’d got any with a volume control!
I tell you, me nerves are frazzled! I’ve got the window open—you did know I’m allergic to feathers, didn’t you? I’m freezing me bits off—sorry, what’s that? Where are they, you ask? Oh, dearie me, I must have left the cage door open. Whoops-a-daisy! I’m sorry, honest I am. It was an accident; ooh look, there they are, up there….”
And A Partridge in a Pear tree….
“Are you having a laugh? Have you looked out of the window and seen the size of our garden lately? I wouldn’t insult postage stamps! We already have two apple trees, a lilac, and several rose bushes jostling for position with the buddleia— where exactly were you thinking of planting this pear tree? And what do partridges eat? Have you even looked that up? Eh? Eh? Have you? No, I thought not! I don’t like the way it’s staring at me, neither, it’s got a right sneaky look in its eye—oh, great, and now it’s decided to hoover up all the bird food I put out for the sparrows, like an industrial suction machine, no less! And I’m sure the number of cats sitting on the garden fence has doubled, they’ll be doing their business in the garden and all sorts. You just don’t think, do you?”
Haha, brilliant! Thanks for the Monday morning giggle 🙂
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Thanks Cathy, how is the new house?
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We’re slowly getting there. Most of the boxes unpacked, just have to find a home for everything. The Christmas tree and decs are up so it’s looking festive at least 🙂 Sorry for late reply, internet went off.
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Loving it.
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Thank you Mary.
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Loving this – a great idea to brighten up the days. We have pheasants in our garden. They’re noisy beggars as well but hear they’re good to eat? Err…if you can catch them!
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Nice game pie anyone?
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Reblogged this on Barrow Blogs: and commented:
Have a laugh!
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Love this. I’ll be looking for the other days of Christmas.
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Thanks Cindy.
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Just what I needed this morning! 😀 Loving these, ladies, and already looking forward to tomorrow’s 🙂 X
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Glad we cheered you up, Jan.
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Any twist on the Christmas thing is welcome, especially a funny one. Thanks, Rosie and Terry.
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Thanks Olga, I know it’s been done before in many different ways but it’s my kind of fun.
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So funny!!
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Cheers Kimberly.
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Three cheers to Rosie for thinking of this ~ all her idea! Glad you’re all liking it 🙂
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This is adorable. Thanks for the laugh this morning. 🙂
@dino0726 from
FictionZeal – Impartial, Straightforward Fiction Book Reviews
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You’re welcome Diane.
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